Family

Culture of care and family

Charles Dickens' last novel, Our mutual friend, combines dark situations and characters with luminous ones that radiate kindness and tenderness.

José Miguel Granados-June 4, 2021-Reading time: 4 minutes
culture of care and family

Our mutual friend ("Our Mutual Friend") is the last novel completed by Charles Dickens. It contains an intriguing interweaving of stories of intense passions, sometimes violently unbridled, and also of compassion and love. It combines dark and cynical situations, performances and protagonists with luminous ones, who radiate kindness and tenderness. 

Beauty care

It begins with the enigmatic discovery of a man murdered and thrown into the River Thames, and the subsequent complex investigation to discover his identity. Several characters in the story stand out precisely when they devote themselves to caring for others.

Thus, a very beautiful young woman from a low social background, Lizzie Hexam, who helps her father, a rough man, in a small rowing boat on the London river to find something of value, even if it is in the pockets of a drowned man... Lizzie cares with patient affection for her dour widower father and his selfish younger brother, although she does not find the correspondence of the gratitude she deserves. Unwittingly, and without intending to, she arouses the unbridled erotic attraction of two men. On the one hand, Bradley Headstone, the pretentious schoolmaster of Lizzie's brother's school, who is driven by a brutal lust for her. On the other, Eugene Wrayburn, a decadent and frivolous lawyer, who cruelly taunts the jilted teacher, setting off the criminal fire of his jealousy. Mortimer Lightwood, Eugene's intimate friend, tries to take care of him and to redirect his provocations and disslates, to avoid that he abuses the poor girl and that he ignites the anger of his humiliated rival of loves.

The story also introduces Bella Wilfer, another pretty but capricious and superficial young woman. She lives with her modest family: a domineering and unbearable mother, who keeps her pusillanimous and industrious father in awe; and an envious and vain sister, who deliberately irritates her. Bella is usually grumpy because of what she considers her unbearable economic hardship. However, her best version comes to the surface when she pours out her affection for her long-suffering father, caring for him with delicate affection. Suddenly John Harmon appears in her life, a valuable, intelligent and hard-working young man, who has to make his way after a serious misfortune, and who will strive to care for and transform Bella, so that she can become an excellent woman.

Other protagonists are Nicodemus Boffin and his wife, an older married couple without children, charming and simple, of humble condition. They have prospered in the garbage collection business, which is why he is referred to as the golden garbage man ("the Golden Dustman"), an expression symbolizing the danger of attachment to money. They live to care for others: they take in and lovingly adopt a retarded boy; and they also favor Bella and John.

Finally, Jenny Wren appears on the scene, a young woman with a limp, with a crooked spine, with an unpleasant and suspicious character. Her work consists of embroidering dolls' dresses to order. She takes care of her alcoholic father, whom she tries to keep away from the destructive vice.

Gospel of care

In his message for this year's World Day of Peace, Pope Francis explains how from the Gospel of Jesus Christ flows the "....culture of careThe "seed of social relations in conformity with human dignity. 

The loving care that God himself bestows on each person endows him or her with dignity and contains the vocation to reciprocate with gratitude by caring for others. Indeed, divine revelation and human reason lead us to recognize the sacred, absolute dignity of every human being. Each person is unique, to be treated with respect, because he or she is worth for what he or she is and not for what he or she has: for being the image of God, for being loved and invited to a filial relationship of friendship, in accordance with his or her intelligent and free nature. Moreover, Jesus identifies himself with every needy and helpless neighbor, when he says in his parable of the final judgment: "You did it to me." (cf. Mt 25:40). Caring for those in need is the paradigm of the human condition.

Who do I take care of?

A great society is one that takes care of the little ones. On the other hand, if it despises the weak, it becomes despicable: when the prevalence of the strong prevails, the law of the jungle, the poor and the fragile are mistreated, and civilization becomes inhuman, tyrannical. 

We must therefore ask ourselves: who do I care for, how do I care for people, do I live as a true caregiver? Well, in reality, my life is worth to the extent that I am cared for and I take care of someone. When I become aware that my life is to be spent in the concrete service of my neighbor, I assume my own vocation to be my brother's keeper (cf. Gen 4:9). When I recognize, protect and promote someone, I fulfill my mission in the world, I collaborate with the providential care of people that the Lord constantly carries out. In short, as we read in this novel: "No one who lightens someone's load is useless in this world.".

Becoming a good caregiver requires preparation. Each person must allow him or herself to be cared for and to be cared for, in order to become capable of caring for others. It is necessary to train oneself integrally, to learn to love and to help; to acquire the adequate qualification for the disinterested and careful human and professional service to the other members of the community.

Family Care

Welcoming the needy and the sick is at the heart of family culture, its decisive contribution to the human community. Conjugal communion is born of the reciprocal self-giving of the spouses. The Lord has blessed the covenant that unites husband and wife in the flesh for life with the gift of fruitfulness. The matrimonial home is the cradle, the school and the first hospital of human life. In short, the family constitutes the first community that lives and teaches the care of persons. It is the natural and privileged place to educate in the recognition of the immeasurable value of each person and in the vocation to care for others.

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