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True love respects others and seeks their happiness, Pope teaches

The divine gift of sexuality, which finds its sublime expression in conjugal love, is at the service of human fulfillment and authentic freedom, while lust chains us to selfishness and emptiness, Pope Francis pointed out this morning in a catechesis that praised falling in love and respect for the other in love.

Francisco Otamendi-January 17, 2024-Reading time: 5 minutes
pope audience

Photo: The Pope at the audience of January 17, 2024 ©Vatican Media

Continuing the cycle dedicated to the consideration of vices and virtues, the Pope meditated this morning on lust, which he defined as "a vice that attacks and distracts all our senses, our body and our psyche. This vice presents itself as a voracious appetite that drives us to use people, to prey on them and to steal from them, seeking in them a disordered pleasure". 

"Instead, true love is selfless, unconditional; it is generous, understanding and helpful," he stressed. "The Bible and Christian Tradition offer a place of honor and respect to the human sexual dimension. This is never condemned when it preserves the beauty that God has inscribed in it, when it is open to the care of others, to life and mutual help. Therefore, let us always take care that our affections and our love are not contaminated by the desire to possess the other".

In its catechesis At the General Audience, which took place in the Paul VI Hall on the day of the memorial of St. Anthony Abbot, and which included circus performances applauded by the Holy Father and the faithful, the Pope stressed that "in Christianity, sexual instinct is not condemned. A book of the Bible, the Song of Songs, is a wonderful poem of love between two engaged couples".

"However, this beautiful dimension of our humanity is not without its dangers, to the point that St. Paul has already in the First Letter to the Corinthians. He writes: "From all sides you hear of immorality among you, and such immorality is not even found among the Gentiles," he added.

Lust mocks the beauty of love

"To love is to respect others, to seek their happiness, to cultivate empathy with their feelings, disposing ourselves to the knowledge of a body, a psychology and a soul that are not our own, and which must be contemplated for the beauty they contain. Love is beautiful," the Pontiff reflected.

"Lust, instead, makes a mockery of all this: it plunders, steals, consumes in haste, does not want to listen to the other but only to its own need and pleasure; lust judges all courtship as boring," the Pope stressed. "In courtship, (lust) does not seek that synthesis between reason, impulse and feeling that would help us to lead our existence wisely. The lustful person seeks only shortcuts: he does not understand that the path of love must be traveled slowly, and this patience, far from being synonymous with boredom, allows us to make our love relationships happy."

Falling in love, pure feeling

In his reflection, Francis spoke beautiful words about falling in love, stressing that "if it is not contaminated by vice, falling in love is one of the purest feelings. A person in love becomes generous, enjoys giving gifts, writes letters and poems. He stops thinking about himself to project himself completely towards the other. And if you ask a person in love for what reason he loves, he will find no answer: in many ways, his is an unconditional love, for no reason at all".

However, this "garden" where wonders multiply is not, however, safe from evil, he said. "It is disfigured by the demon of lust, and this vice is particularly odious, for at least two reasons. First, because it devastates relationships between people. How many relationships that began in the best of ways have later turned into toxic relationships, of possession of the other, lacking respect and a sense of boundaries. They are loves in which chastity has been lacking: a virtue not to be confused with sexual abstinence, but with the will never to possess the other". 

If sexuality is not disciplined, pornography will follow.

There is a second reason why lust is a dangerous vice, he has pointed out. "Of all man's pleasures, sexuality has a powerful voice. It involves all the senses; it inhabits both the body and the psyche; if it is not patiently disciplined, if it is not inscribed in a relationship and a history in which two individuals turn it into a loving dance, it becomes a chain that deprives man of freedom. Sexual pleasure is undermined by pornography: unrelated satisfaction that can generate forms of addiction."

In this line, Francis encouraged to "win the battle against lust, against the 'objectification' of the other", which "can be a lifelong effort. But the prize of this battle is the most important of all, because it is to preserve the beauty that God wrote in his creation when he imagined the love between man and woman".

"That beauty that makes us believe that building a story together is better than going on adventures, cultivating tenderness is better than bowing to the demon of possession, serving is better than winning. Because if there is no love, life is sad" and loneliness wins, he concluded.

intercession and magisterium of St. John Paul II

Greeting the Romans and pilgrims in various languages, Francis made specific references and messages. 

For example, he told the Poles that "today's catechesis is an encouragement to confront lust. The struggle against this vice can last a lifetime, but the reward is incomparable: to persevere in that beauty that God wrote in his creation, when he imagined love between man and woman. May the intercession and the magisterium of St. John Paul IIthat with great devotion educated young people in mature love, help you in this".

He invited French speakers to "witness to the beauty and dignity of the human person in your relationships".

To the English-speaking people, especially those from Australia and the United States, he said that "I invoke upon all of you and upon your families the joy and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ".

"Let us ask the Lord for the grace to know how to love as He loves, with a free and gratuitous love, and also to know how to respectfully contemplate the gift that God gives us in our brothers and sisters," he said to the Spanish-speaking people. And in addressing the Portuguese-speaking people, he greeted in particular those from Cape Verde. "The Lord, who created us, calls us to follow paths of unity. The creativity to do so is always drawn from the Gospel".

Week of Prayer for Christian Unity

Speaking in Italian, the Pope expressed his closeness and solidarity to all the victims of the attack targeting an urban area in Erbil, capital of the autonomous region of Iraqi Kurdistan. "Good relations between neighbors are not built by such actions, but by dialogue and collaboration. I call on everyone to avoid any steps that increase tension in the Middle East and other theaters of war," he said.

Then, the Holy Father recalled that "tomorrow begins the Week of Prayer for Christian UnityThis year's theme is: "Love the Lord your God... and love your neighbor as yourself" (cf. Lk 10:27). I invite you to pray that Christians to reach full communion and give a unanimous witness of love to all, especially to the most fragile".

Today's liturgy commemorates St. Anthony Abbot, one of the founding fathers of monasticism. May his example encourage them to accept the Gospel without compromise, the Pope encouraged.

War does not sow love, it sows hate.

His last words were to remind us of "the countries that are in the process of at war. Let us not forget Ukraine, Palestine, Israel, let us not forget the inhabitants of the Gaza Strip, who suffer so much, Let us pray for so many victims of war. War always destroys, it does not sow love, it sows hatred. War is a human defeat. Let us pray for the people who are suffering so much", he asked before praying the Pater noster in Latin, and giving the Blessing.

The authorFrancisco Otamendi

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