Why get married? Christian marriage in the 21st centuryCédric and Sophie Barut, the testimony of an "unusual" marriageHave you not read," Jesus replied, "that in the beginning the Creator "made them man and woman", and said, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one body"? So they are no longer two, but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (Mt 19:4-6).
Where has this call of Jesus gone? The most recent statistics reveal discouraging data: in Mexico during 2022, 507,000 couples married, while 166,000 divorced. And it has been observed that the number of people who decide to get married is on the decline. Divorce rates in Latin American countries is 32% and is even higher in countries such as Spain or the United States where 50% is reported.
A few years ago I received a very special message: a woman recorded in tears the following words: "I want to thank you (who believe in marriage forever) for encouraging me to persevere in my struggle to keep my marriage. I want to tell you that the only people who believed that my marriage could be restored were you. And today I am calling to tell you, that after 3 1/2 years of struggling in faith, my husband has come home totally renewed. We are happy!".
Marriage breakup
She immediately wrote us a letter entitled: "This is how I saved my marriage". In it, she described how the lack of affection and disrespect led them into an unpleasant routine. This turned into an unbearable relationship that led to abuse, violence and finally to infidelity and breakup.
He decided to leave his home. He left his wife and three children to start a new life with another woman. She was devastated and suffered, feeling that she was the victim of an atrocious injustice. Weeping in front of the Blessed Sacrament, she "heard" in her heart an unexpected motion: "I will restore your home". "How can this be, Lord, he is already living with the other woman, it is impossible, we have hurt each other too much".
From this experience, she decided to visit the Blessed Sacrament every day. She honored and praised the Blessed Sacrament and immediately listened to the motions that clearly came to her mind and heart. The Lord helped her to know herself. To accept that she had brought her own traumas into her home. She believed that repaying offenses was right and just. God revealed to her that the only way to end evil is in an abundance of good.
She saw the emotional pain of her children. One of them dabbled in the satanic world, so she intensified her prayer.
Prayer
Prayer and personal change: that's how I saved my marriage.
I stopped insisting that he was wrong. I accepted that I was the one who had to change and that I could put in God's hands the project He had for our marriage. I asked Him to direct my life, to guide me in my decisions, to save my children, especially the one who was waging war against him head-on.
Many voices told me that it was wrong, not to dream, that I was young and could find another man. But the voice of God resounded louder within me and I did not give in to social pressure. "I will not separate what You joined together Lord".
Nor did I beg. Rather, I let go.
I grew as a human being, I felt proud of myself, I only wanted to please God.
God's original plan
And one fine day a miracle happened. My husband accepted to go to a retreat that the Church offered us to heal wounds in the family. I told him I was inviting him to do it for our children, especially the one who was suffering the most. God had perfect plans. He asked us all for forgiveness and wanted to come back if we accepted.
We had prayed so much for him, all of us without thinking about it, without complaining, without asking for explanations... filled with God's love, we opened the doors of our home to him.
Therapies and human help are necessary but insufficient. To restore a home, it is necessary to turn to the one who is most interested in keeping it together: God.
This is stated in the Catechism of the Catholic ChurchIt is very convenient to respect indissolubility because it is based on the very nature of man and conjugal love; it perfects the mutual self-giving of the spouses; it makes possible the best education for the children; it assures mutual stability; it favors the search for happiness; and it identifies the couple to God's original plan.
