St. Monica and the Mothers' Coffee in the 4th centuryIs there such a thing as a perfect family?Let's imagine this scene unfolding one ordinary evening inside a normal house.
The mother yells at the teenage son: - Keep ignoring me and I'm going to hit you!
- I'm going to hit you to get you to stop bugging me!
The mother bursts into tears, muttering to herself, -I can't take it anymore... I can't take it anymore. The son puts on headphones and locks himself in his room. The other family members, the father and two brothers look away. Silence. His heart is flooded with pain, with intense frustration.
More and more families are experiencing abuse and violence. This painful reality can change if we put our minds to it.
Healthy families
We want healthy families and experts share with us the traits that characterize them:
- Open and respectful communication
- Clear boundaries always in the best interest of everyone in the household.
- Mutual interest and support
- Constructive conflict resolution
Let us sincerely ask ourselves: What is the family climate that prevails in my home; do I welcome my children and spouse with affection; do I make a point of finding a space to talk and take an interest in their projects; do I share my thoughts and experiences; do I listen to the other members of my family; do we feel valuable to each other at home; do I listen to the other members of my family; do we feel valuable to each other at home?
We know that in today's world family time is not favored, and yet, it has to be created! If there are social problems, it is because families are not fulfilling their mission.
Research in the field of psychology has provided interesting conclusions. Mestre, Samper and Pérez (Revista latinoamericana de psicología) explain that healthy families guarantee a healthy society. An optimal family environment includes: norms and values instilled by example and affection. They state that positive affective relationships with parents contribute to developing a sense of security and trust in children.
Generating a healthy family climate is possible for those who want to achieve it and prepare for it. Having self-control and controlling negative emotions can be achieved with the right help. Every family should be a school of love and not of war. If our family is not what it should be, let us strive to transform it, starting with our own personal change.
God, the key to success in the family
The first step is to accept that mistakes have been made, then decide to seek help: healing wounds, acquiring new habits, and the fundamental key: getting closer to God.
I have seen very positive changes especially in those who, with faith, turn first to God.
His Word says: Spouseslove your wives (Ef. 5:25); wives, respect your husbands (Col. 3:18); children, obey your parents (Eph. 6:1); and you parents, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord ( Eph. 6:4).
Our Good God asks of us what He knows we can give. He designed us! There are natural means, but there are also supernatural means: prayer, sacramental life, reading the Bible, and so on. WordWe need to form Christian families, transmitting and living the faith, educating to love and serve, to be an example. This is the only possible method to eradicate evil at its roots; violence has never brought good results.
Let us make our home a true school of love.
"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the end" (C.S. Lewis).
