Family and religionEvery living organism subject to evolution goes through crises, which are understood as moments of necessary transition in the development process of its own life cycle. Crises are moments of instability, which can generate in people a degree of insecurity and even fear. Every crisis poses challenges in which aspects that need to be changed emerge. If crises were necessarily irreparable failures, there would be no trace of organized life left on earth.
The family, as a network of relationships, also has a vital cycle, in which moments of crisis inevitably occur. Today, many, with a negative and pessimistic vision, live these family crises -normal and necessary- as authentic failures, as irreparable ruptures. They act in their family relationships as they would not act with their property. As if, on detecting a crack in a wall of the house, or on discovering a fault in the electrical connections, or in the heating pipes, they would consider as the only solution to demolish the house and try to build a different one, in another place.
Mariolina Ceriotti affirms that being oneself and, at the same time, "being in relationship" requires flexibility and adaptability. It also requires, on certain occasions, to be able to re-establish the relationship on new bases. A sort of renewed pact between the same people. It is necessary to lose the fear of facing crises, which mark the end of a way of relating, and require finding the way to a new fullness. It is the end of a vital stage and the beginning of another, which must be based on a love and trust given with greater maturity, assuming the limitations and defects of each one. The result is a relationship that is not only stronger, but also renewed.
We live in a complex world, full of tensions. It is therefore not surprising that difficulties and crises are more frequent, and sometimes deeper. It is not easy to get out of these situations alone. It is increasingly necessary - almost essential - to have the support and accompaniment of other people. Ordinarily we experience difficulties, for which extraordinary actions will not be necessary: the example of other family friends, a good advice from our loved ones, or from other people we trust, can be enough. At other times, however, it will be necessary to turn to an expert who can help restore damaged relationships by providing deeper structural support. In any case, it is always worth investing in repairing what can be repaired. In not foolishly giving up something as valuable and irreplaceable as one's own family.
Professor at the Faculty of Law of the International University of Catalonia and director of the Institute for Advanced Family Studies. She directs the Chair on Intergenerational Solidarity in the Family (IsFamily Santander Chair) and the Childcare and Family Policies Chair of the Joaquim Molins Figueras Foundation. She is also Vice-Dean of the Faculty of Law at UIC Barcelona.
