"God will call to account those who have not sought peace."Human beings have rights... and responsibilities!
With the emergence of various initiatives for the defense of human rights, we seem to have forgotten that they go hand in hand with duties. Our society demands rights, which is legitimate of course, but there is suffering when we expect them to be respected in the direction of ourselves but not in the direction of others. This reality is aggravated when, in addition, we call our desires rights.
Recently a mature woman came to my office experiencing distress at the imminent arrival of her mother-in-law. She sobbed and asked herself: "Why does she have to come? I have the right to be happy.
I empathetically accompanied her feelings and little by little we opened up to a deep reflection on love in the family. At one point in the conversation she revealed what was in her heart and in her conscience:
"All my life I have been rejected by my mother-in-law and now that she is ill, I don't feel like seeing her. But I love my husband and I know it would be precious to him if I showed some compassion. I know he is hurt by my coldness and I wouldn't want to be like that, but deep in my heart I don't feel like getting close. What can I do?"
In his letter to the Romans, St. Paul exhorts us to make our faith come alive with certain basic attitudes: "Be of the same mind toward one another, do not be haughty in your thinking, but be condescending to the little ones. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Never repay anyone evil for evil. If possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" (Rom 12:16-18).
This, which seems utopian, can be achieved with personal determination: "I will do the right thing even if I don't feel like it". Today, thanks to advances in neuroscience, it is confirmed that it is possible to change our feelings and attitudes, modifying our behaviors and thoughts. That is to say that we should not make the actions we take depend on our feelings; we can all choose our reactions thinking about the consequences and selecting the best response to any circumstance.
The German neurologist Eduard Hitzig, already at the end of the 19th century, designed what we know today as the emotional alphabet. He detected a correlation between certain feelings and attitudes.
He claimed that "R" feelings generate "D" attitudes:
-Anger, resentment, grudge, rejection
They generate "D" attitudes:
-Depression, discouragement, despondency, despair
In contrast, "S" feelings produce "A" attitudes:
-Serenity, sociability, sleepiness, smile, wisdom
They generate "A" attitudes:
-Love, friendship, appreciation, encouragement, closeness
According to Dr. Hitzig's observations, our brains can be molded: the brain is an easy 'muscle' to fool; if you smile it thinks you are happy and makes you feel better.
So it will be necessary to put a good face on bad weather and go ahead doing the right thing even if we do not originally feel like it, this will give us emotional maturity. Let us strive to practice human virtues, this has been the walk of the saints, and we are called to be saints.
When the Word of God asks us to return good for evil, it is because knowing our human nature, it recommends us to do what is best for us, and not what our resentments dictate.
Listening to the voice of the Creator and obeying it makes us truly free and happy.
