40 things you can do to experience LentWe are witnessing a period of frequent family breakdown with all its painful consequences. In search of happiness, seduced by the song of the sirens, we have strayed from the safe and certain path offered by a functional family, where each member is loved for his or her own sake. We have put aside our responsibilities and privileged our rights so much that the balance has lost its equilibrium.
Around the month of March we are living Lent. The liturgical calendar marks a compass in our Christian walk, and this time is a sensitive period in which we can pray like St. Augustine asking: "My Father, know yourself and know me".
40 days of penance. 40 days preparing us for the most extraordinary event that has taken place in the history of mankind: the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
It is a path of purification, of conversion, a time to look inside ourselves, to rethink and improve as children of God and brothers and sisters among us.
Today I want to propose a very special Lent, aimed at improving your marriage. I believe that at the origin of social and mental health problems, there are parents who have failed to fulfill their sublime mission: the formation of upright, happy and holy children, of future good citizens of earth and heaven.
We are too preoccupied with material goods and really unconcerned with eternal goods.
May this Lent help us to reflect on the changes we need to make in order to fulfill the mission God has entrusted to us by giving us children.
A basic principle is: "The best gift for children is the visible love of their parents".
If our marriage is not going very well, it is necessary to bring everything necessary to change the course. During the Lenten season, the Church proposes three practices that will help us to a personal change in the direction of heaven. Let us apply these practices in our marriage and live the experience of seeking first the kingdom of God.
These practices are:
- Prayer, which perfects our relationship with God;
- Limosna, which perfects our relationship with others;
- Fasting, which perfects our relationship with ourselves.
Some concrete ways to bring them into our marriage are:
- Let us pray for our marriage, let us ask God to help us become the ideal help and encouragement for our spouse. Let us pray for him (her), for his (her) physical, mental and spiritual health, for his (her) needs, his (her) economy, his (her) job, etc.
- Almsgiving is a manifestation of charity, that is, of genuine love for our brothers and sisters. To apply it to marriage would mean to have acts full of kindness for the other. Not to wait for our spouse to do something to deserve our attention and affection, to give it to him or her, to give it as a gift. Do it in the name of God. This does not prevent us from setting healthy limits to violent, aggressive or selfish behavior on the part of the other; rather, it implies that we ask for what we want in a good way, without offending, without seeking revenge, on the contrary, saying with words and actions that we want to be well by his side, that we value him and we will do everything in our power to make him feel loved and well appreciated by us.
- Fasting forges us in self-control. Fasting as the Church asks of us (Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, abstaining partially or totally from food or drink), but in addition, we can offer in favor of our marriage: fasting from bad thoughts about our spouse, choosing to mention a quality when I have thought of a defect; choosing to bring a good memory when a negative one has come to mind; choosing to speak well of him (her) when I have thought of complaining or judging him (her) negatively. Fast from shouting and offensive words, avoid them decisively and when they "come out without thinking", apologize immediately.
I confess that this is something I like very much about the LentThis reminds me of the meaning of carrying the cross and leads me to stop pointing the finger at the other as guilty of everything; it leads me to look at myself with the gaze of God who gave His own Son for me. I look at my littleness, I recognize that I lack much to be worthy of so much love from this merciful God and I decide to offer him my efforts, my small daily sacrifices, in reparation for my faults and for the good of those I love.
Neurosciences confirm that we can change neuronal pathways if we try new habits for 40 days. We will really be renewing our brain, and it is also proven that by changing our thoughts, we will change our feelings.
The word of God says: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are worthy, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are honorable, if there is any virtue or anything worthy of praise, meditate on these things." ( Phil. 4:8). Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Rom. 12:2).
Let us do great good to the world by taking care of this most important institution: marriage.
