We have lived an extraordinary situation. Now, like someone descending a mountain, you need to know the way, lean on safe places and let yourself be guided. Every day is an opportunity to be better, to be more yourself, to grow, to advance, to learn, to accept the mystery of being alive. Time to discover yourself and develop sensitivity to be amazed by what you are used to.
Maybe you have discovered how you want to reconcile your life, the importance of social action, solidarity, communication, friendship, human contact, saying you love people or enjoying the little things. Or you have discovered burdens: wanting to control, believing you are autonomous, the question: why me?
I suggest that you reflect, take responsibility and make decisions to "de-escalate" with optimism, fun and enjoyment. Reality challenges you, focus on what you can do today. Take power and fight with the government or with "the others". Go every day to your inner closet and choose what outfit you want.
Use the VAR
Valida, welcomes y reflects your emotions and mental states, pleasant and unpleasant. Become aware of the real situation and embrace it. You may feel fear, vulnerability, uncertainty, bewilderment, tiredness, boredom, lack of appetite. Relate them to joy, illusion, serenity, pleasure. Yes, there are difficulties; the optimism and hope that I propose is not frivolous, but with feet on the ground, without the social contagion of being a hero or a victim, and out of mental confinement.
Recognizes the appellation of origin
You don't choose what emotions you have; you can choose to acknowledge them: they are mine. This way you understand yourself and give yourself time to process them. This helps you to accept reality and to make real progress in adaptation. There will be those who wish to return to the previous activity with a thousand plans; others have enjoyed a serene life without running. Both are valid and deserve recognition.
What needs do I have to be able to adapt?
If you know them, you can get them: information, safety, help with people, rest, psychological support, family support, money, work, etc. This way you evaluate the risks, the limitations and the help to ask for.
What have I lost in these weeks?
Make yourself aware of the duels that you need to do: people, economic or labor losses, projects, plans. It is the first step to elaborate them with suffering, the expression of pain and time. If you block yourself or become disproportionately active, ask for help from a professional. We are survivors, but do not victimize yourself because it infantilizes and subdues you.
Look at your toolbox
There are competencies, skills, abilities and virtues that give you security and self-confidence to adapt better because you are already competent, skilled and capable. Use them with yourself and with others.
Catch the rising wind
What have you missed and didn't know it? What didn't and thought you couldn't live without? What did you think would happen and didn't? What didn't you expect and did? You may have learned something about yourself during confinement that has strengthened your esteem and autonomy.
Check the "pantry".
What personal, family, social, economic, work, etc., ingredients do you have to move forward? Observe what you lack, what you need and how to get it. From what you have in abundance, give to others and establish collaborative systems.
Healthy relationships
You may feel ambivalent about wanting to be with your people, to help, and fear of contagion may arise. It will help to communicate what you want, think and feel, and to establish a healthy balance between giving-care, helping-being helped. Everyone processes their fears and needs. To help them, to love them, to understand them and to be supportive is to accept their ways and times of doing it.
Emotional regulation
Strategies for emotional regulation of unpleasant states, accepting vulnerability, connecting with ourselves, understanding our own and others' emotions, and building emotional bridges to strengthen the social fabric will help. They can be learned through readings, audios, videos and podcasts, and with a professional.
Activate your spiritual side
But if I am a priest? Well, more: hope, dignity, meaning, openness to the future, help, forgiveness, care, gratuitousness, tolerance of failure, processing of hatred and anger, affection, the possibility of recovery, the desire to be better, the desire to love.
All this with patience and with the confidence that the human being has a great capacity to adapt, to respond and to be supportive. If you have no strength or optimism, this is your de-escalation, ask for help to those who love you and together it will be more affordable.
