"On retreat", a website to find GodTo accompany the bride and groom. Teaching and building loveThe Holy Family Orientation Center of the parish of Buen Suceso in Madrid has developed a unique program for couples in courtship: a weekend of discernment and strengthening of the courtship. "With you".
Born in 2019, this meeting seeks to offer engaged couples an opportunity for discernment and growth in their relationship, moving away from the traditional scheme of group meetings or formative catechesis.
Carlos Carazo, one of those responsible along with his wife, explains in detail what this innovative course consists of, which has become a reference in the pastoral care of courtship.
What it consists of
Since its inception, "Contigo" has been aimed at helping engaged couples discover that their preparation during their engagement, towards marriage, is today the most important thing in their lives, and that they become aware of God's presence in their relationship. It is a meeting for engaged couples regardless of their situation, explains Carlos. "Young people of 18 or adults of 45, couples who have been dating for months or more than ten years, believers or people far from the faith, engaged couples who are already living together...".
We want the bride and groom to "look at themselves squarely and discover what they are called to", leaving aside the external noise and distractions of everyday life.
Unlike other meetings, in "Contigo" the bride and groom do not participate in group dynamics or sharing. "Here there are no round tables, no group work, no debates. Throughout the weekend, the bride and groom have plenty of time to have a very deep dialogue about their life and their relationship," explains Carlos.
"Contigo" has proven to be a powerful tool to help engaged couples discern their vocation to marriage. "We look for them to form happy marriages and aspire to holiness. We don't want them to simply get along or argue less." Carlos concludes. Most of the participants leave very strengthened in their relationship, there are also engaged couples who decide to break up, realizing that their engagement has no future or is not on the right track.
The retreat takes place from Friday to Sunday afternoon, in an atmosphere of serenity, in which the activities follow one another smoothly "No running from one activity to another. It is a space for contemplation, prayer and dialogue," he adds.
Couples accompanying brides and grooms
One of the special features of the retreat is the presence of couples who accompany the bride and groom as sponsors. "Each couple accompanies three engaged couples, especially at meals. They do not intervene in their process or tell them how to conduct their relationship." In addition, these couples attend the retreat along with their children, who have their own parallel program. "We want the bride and groom to see families, not just married couples. The children participate in the preparations, the decorations, welcoming the bride and groom, and other tasks that I don't detail in order to keep the surprise of the encounter," says Carlos.
Not only the bride and groom come away from this retreat transformed, but also the couples who serve as sponsors. "We live an experience of renewal in our own conjugal and family life".
"Contigo" allows them to rediscover their marriage vocation and strengthen their relationship, as they participate in all the activities together with the bride and groom. "They also do all the experiences that are proposed to the bride and groom."
Content of the meeting
The retreat itinerary is designed for engaged couples to deepen their vocation.
Throughout the weekend, they are asked several key questions, which they will address during and after the meeting. "They often tell us that they haven't had time to deal with even 10% of the topics we've brought up. But that's the important thing: to leave here with pending issues to continue working on them in everyday life," says Carlos.
Each couple receives a small guide-book, which will help them to continue the discernment process after the retreat. In addition, "Contigo" is linked to other formation programs, such as the "Itinerary for engaged couples without a wedding date" and the "Pre-marriage Course", for those who wish to continue deepening their journey towards marriage.
Since its first edition in 2020, "Contigo" has experienced spectacular growth and is now preparing the 17th edition. Four meetings a year are organized, with a participation of 24 to 27 couples per edition. Demand is so high that places are usually sold out in less than ten minutes after registration opens. Although most of the participants are from Madrid, people come from all over Spain: Valencia, Tarragona, Cadiz, Lisbon... It is not only an event for the parish, but for the whole Church.
Outreach to other parishes and dioceses
Given the success of the program, several dioceses have shown interest in replicating it. However, Carlos stresses that it is not easy to export it without a subsequent formation itinerary. "This is not just a retreat, but part of a journey. If there is no follow-up program, it remains an isolated experience," he warns.
However, the organizers are hopeful that this type of experience will be replicated in other places and are delighted that the meeting will be attended by people who would like to organize it in their own dioceses.
The next dates for the retreats are May 9-11; June 20-22, 2025; and October 3-5. For more information, please contact via email [email protected] or Instagram account @contigo_novios.
