Listen to the podcast "The second virginity".
In this life, there are times when you don't get what you want, but that doesn't mean you stop fighting, fighting for things.
Thus, there are people who set out to have a clean courtship and do not succeed, for whatever reason, although we can always speak, at the very least, of lack of prudence.
If the solution given to this situation is that "since we have not succeeded, since we have had sex, what difference does it make to have sex once, twice, or a hundred times...", this does not fix things. The tension that must exist in a courtship to do things as initially wanted, disappears, and the illusion, with time, too.
What usually happens in these cases is that, many times, the relationship is broken due to lack of illusion and, in the next engagement, it is very possible that the level is lowered: blackmail begins to emerge "If you did it with the other, why not with me, that is a sign that you do not love me...". And others like that.
I believe that it is necessary to try to rebuild the illusion in that courtship that was going so well until the sexual contact arrived. How? By proposing to live the second virginity. Having a thorough talk with the couple, and starting over again, so that the previous experience serves to gain strength, experience, and to be more careful in everything related to sexuality.
The second virginity is a hymn to hope and illusion.
So far it has not been as we wanted, but from now on it will be. I have seen it many times and with great success.
Having said that, we must make every effort to do things right.
There are engaged couples who seem to have unwanted relationships. Why does this happen? Naturally, because deep down they want to. It is, so to speak, an unintentional love.
They do not make the means, they are not prudent, they go to each other's house when no one is there, they take a long time to say goodbye, they walk in poorly lit places, and many other situations that, on the other hand, each couple knows.
As a consequence of this, what they theoretically do not want to happen, but in reality they are putting few means in place, is happening.
This lack of strength, of toughness, this lack of willpower, will appear later in the relationship in thousands of situations. Life as a couple is difficult and we must be trained in personal demands. The second virginity is a good training.
Proposing to live like this strengthens the couple a lot and if they take it seriously, it restores the illusion.