In point 339, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, referring to the way in which sin threatens marriage, reminds that "the marital union is very often threatened by discord and infidelity. However, God, in his infinite mercy, gives man and woman his grace to bring about the union of their lives according to the original divine design."
A little further on, in point 346, it points out that ".this sacrament confers upon the spouses the necessary grace to reach the holiness in married life and welcoming and educating children responsibly".
The passage of time, the personal circumstances of each spouse, difficulties or other ordinary aspects of life, do not disfigure the essence of the marriage bond that originates in the mutual consent of the spouses legitimately manifested: from a valid marriage a perpetual and exclusive bond originates between the spouses by its very nature.
In the Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and remain as consecrated by a sacrament peculiar to the duties and dignity of their state.
It is in this "yes, I do"When spouses are "transformed" into a new reality, a unity in personal difference; their marriage will be the place where each seeks the good and happiness of the other: their own fullness.
From this unique, exclusive, perpetual union arises the mutual help that is concretized in the daily life of the spouses through a thousand and one details of help, care, interest. Details that range from the most intimate and spiritual to the material: an "I love you", a smile, a gift on special occasions, a passing over of minor unimportant frictions, etc.
Through the spiritual act of love one is able to contemplate the essential features and traits of the beloved. Through love, the one who loves enables the beloved to actualize his or her hidden potentialities. The one who loves sees beyond and urges the other to consummate his or her unnoticed personal capacities.
Pope Francis, in one of his catechesis on the marriage and the family proposed in three words a refuge, not without a struggle against selfishness itself, a way to sustain marriage: these words are: permit, thank you, sorry.
If we are not able to apologize, it means that we are not even able to forgive. In the house where forgiveness is not asked for, there is a lack of air, "the waters stagnate". So many wounds of affection, so many lacerations in families begin with the loss of this precious word: excuse me.
We cannot forget that this other, this other, to whom we are addressing, is the person whom one day we freely chose to walk the path of life together and to whom we gave ourselves out of love.
It is convenient to exercise affective memory, which updates affection: because it is convenient, because it is good for love understood as an act of intelligence, will and feeling; and then we "re-member" - we place again, with great care, in the heart - all those distinctive features - also the defects and limitations - that led us to commit ourselves, to love "forever".
Married life is called to acquire unsuspected nuances that lead to "prioritizing" marriage above all other circumstances or realities, as a specific vocation - human and supernatural - for each of those called to this state.
To discover such nuances, it is necessary not only love but also good humor: in the face of mistakes that allow us to move away from a pretended and at the same time unattainable perfection; in the face of adverse situations or small - and sometimes not so small - absent-mindedness.
When things do not go as planned, knowing how to laugh at oneself, accepting constructive criticism with gratitude and sympathy, helps to avoid falling into "wounded pride", which does so much harm to any relationship, be it friendship, filial or marital.
Therein lies the greatness and beauty of conjugal love, which redounds directly to the good of the children.
It has often been said: "if the marriage is fine, the children are fine". An education without love "depersonalizes" because it does not reach the central, constitutive core of the person.
If love between spouses fails, the natural order of reciprocal self-giving, which has as beneficiaries not only the spouses themselves but also their children, is broken.
Today we educate men and women who will one day accept what God wants of them: and they will be capable of respect, love, generosity and dedication to the extent that they have seen it in their parents and shared it in their families.
Finally, and by way of conclusion, we could affirm that looking at the past with gratitude, the present with determination and the future with hope, helps to live the gift of self with fullness, to accept the passage of time in marriage with joy.
