How to get out of the crisis and save the marriageArgüello: "The vocation most in crisis in Spain is marriage".Justice is to give to one's neighbor what is due to him, and this implies respecting the rights of each one (cfr. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1807).
Indeed, the classical conception of justice has been summed up in a few meaningful words: "to give to each his due". This definition assumes that someone owes and someone gives, that is, that there are persons in relation. Therefore, to think of the virtue of justice is to think in relation.
Now, only if we consider the equal dignity and freedom of each one, then it is possible to say that the relations between people are just. There cannot be, for example, just relations between people if some are slaves to others, since such subjugation implies not realizing "who the others are" and what they will need from me.
I must realize who others are and what their circumstances are in order to give them what they deserve. And, of course, the human person is not a slave, to continue with the example given.
In any case, before demanding, to comply with
On the other hand, in order to be able to demand that my neighbor fulfill his obligations to me, I must fulfill my own duties.
Such duties are manifested in the most ordinary occasions of one's life, deriving from the contracts and conventions that are agreed upon. We refer to the care of the familyThe attention to work and the implications it entails, the attention of the community of neighbors, friends, initiatives, etc.
Thus, only by taking care of my family, my work, that community of neighbors in which I live, my friends and initiatives that I propose to myself, and other circumstances that surround me, I will be able to demand, with the right to do so, the duties of my neighbor.
Fairness between husband and wife and their family environment
The family setting is a privileged place to live the virtue of justice. For example, the recognition of fatigue on the part of each spouse at the end of a long day's work is part of the virtue of justice. A consequence of this will be the practice of some characteristics proper to the virtue of charity, such as kindness in treatment: if my spouse is exhausted, it will be just - and therefore charitable - to treat him or her with this in mind.
Other examples of the above in the family are the children's respect for parents and grandparents, collaboration in terms of childcare and household chores, dedicating the necessary time to the children according to each one's own circumstances, etc.
Justice and fidelity in marriage
What is just between husband and wife is first of all to recognize each other as such and to behave coherently. Marital fidelity is a mutual duty of justice, a good to which the other has a right, insofar as they have given and accepted each other in all the depth and extent of their personal dimension, respectively masculine or feminine.
As with all the duties of justice, by virtue of the exteriority and otherness that characterizes them, it is possible that what is just may be lived in many ways, with greater or lesser conviction and love.
For the same reason, the injustice of infidelity can occur in subjectively very diverse ways: from a lucid and deliberately chosen sin in all its seriousness, to a very superficial attitude that hardly grasps the value of fidelity and that can even be linked to a lack of authentic marital will.
Fidelity to the word given, and therefore to the commitments acquired, is a virtue intimately connected with justice in all its manifestations.
Each spouse must be faithful to the other as a person bound by marriage, in a way that transcends the level of the actions and circumstances of conjugal and family life.
Marriage is not a simple association to carry out a common work, much less an exchange of reciprocal benefits: it is giving life to a personal bond that, like all family relationships, affects the person as such.
It is necessary to be convinced that one cannot be a spouse "for a while", that the phenomenology of human love with its promises for ever responds to a structure of our being human persons naturally sexed and united in the complementarity corresponding to this sexual dimension.
In other words, it is the very subject matter of marriage, the persons of the spouses in their conjugality, which makes it possible to understand the permanent nature of the bond and the requirement of unconditional fidelity.
Fidelity is thus found in the active fulfillment of commitments. It is believed that it is enough not to betray, when in reality, not to be responsible with the other, not to seek his good, not to do my part in the relationship are already forms of betraying fidelity.
Some discernment questions to verify if, in practice, I am living my marriage fairly:
- What are my commitments and what duties follow from them?
- Do I support and share the burdens with my spouse or leave him/her alone?
- Do I look for occasions to make my spouse happy?
- Am I attentive to my spouse?
