Argüello: "The vocation most in crisis in Spain is marriage".As the Catechism of the Catholic Church in its issue 1809 "La temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and ensures balance in the use of created goods. It ensures the dominion of the will over the instincts and keeps desires within the limits of honesty (...)". For what will be said below it is worth emphasizing the words "moderates" and "balance".
To today's world - and probably to the one that precedes it - it sounds a bit strange to talk about moderation, austerity, detachment, modesty, chastity, modesty, etc. It is not prepared for it. These forms of temperance clash head-on with consumerism and hedonism, which have become deeply rooted trends in our time, at least in Western society.
Think, for example, of the continuous and indiscriminate bombardment of sensual images of all kinds transmitted through social networks, television, newspapers, cinema or fashion, which implicitly or explicitly manifest immoderation, wastefulness, ostentation, exacerbation of the pleasurable, or of the satisfaction that can be immediately achieved with a simple "click".
Facing an intemperate life?
Why is temperance or moderation necessary? Because, as rational beings, with intelligence and will, we must satisfy our natural needs not according to instinct, but according to right reason, that is, rationally.
We observe that the natural operations of conservation of the individual - nourishment - and of the species - sexual union - are followed by a certain delight or pleasure.
So, for example, what would happen if we did not enjoy the food we need to live, but felt disgust? In that case there would be certain possibilities that we would not feed ourselves, only because it would produce disgust, putting our life in danger. The same can be applied to venereal or sexual pleasure and its procreative purpose.
As for self-control, temperance also helps to control aggressiveness; it is therefore indispensable for acting and reasoning lucidly, avoiding the state of obfuscation of the passions.
First the spouses/parents, then the children
Parents need a firm interiority "chiseled" by self-forgetfulness, which is present in the home, where they interact with other family members, with serenity, without alarmism or surprises in the face of changes and crises that occur in the life of every person who is in the process of personal maturation, as happens, for example, with children and adolescents. This is temperance.
Likewise, this mission of parents requires them to be an example of realism and humility. Realism to demand with moderation and patience, because children, like all human beings, have their own rhythms and limitations.
And humility to accept that they are burdened with miseries and with the inner strength of their own sensitive appetites, which in certain circumstances go beyond the order of right reason, becoming evident before their children. In these situations it is necessary to be humble to recognize one's own intemperance and, if necessary, to ask for forgiveness.
Temperance is not only inner harmony of oneself with oneself. It is also a consequence of giving oneself and welcoming others: spouses, parents and children, etc.
This can be seen in the daily life of the family. For example, it is clearly noticeable when in the home some parents only "give things" to their children, fulfilling a merely dispensing function of material goods, without any kind of measurement, detachment and sobriety.
If a parent is not self-controlled, he will not be able to radiate benevolence and clemency in dealing with his child; rather, he will often resort to shouting, verbal and physical aggression, denoting insensitivity, cruelty, etc.
Likewise, if one spouse does not respect and understand the other, dominated by his or her impulses, affections and passions, it will be difficult for him or her to esteem and respect the other.
Education in temperance requires parents to live austerity, with elegance, without falling into stinginess on the one hand and wastefulness on the other.
For this reason, they must maintain a sustained effort, the spirit of sacrifice, firmness, the capacity for renunciation and a lot of courage to know how to wait without despairing, aware that there is no such thing as a perfect family, nor infallible parents, nor should they expect perfect children to grow up.
Love between spouses helps and prevents that in the home one "distempers" "before the intemperance" of the other, because evil is never overcome with evil, but always with the strength of good.
An attitude that helps the experience of temperance in daily family life is meekness. Meekness particularly moderates excessive and unjust anger. It generates peace, serenity, tranquility and harmony in homes and in the interpersonal relationships that are lived there.
Educating in temperance or austerity through concrete measures
The married couple that wants to live seriously the effort to take care and recover the balance, stability and harmony in their "inside", needs to establish a "self-discipline". For example, in the use of electronic devices and technological and computer resources.
Parents, as those primarily responsible for family education, are the ones called upon to determine the measures for the use of social networks, television and other electronic devices.
Thus, they can -should- establish that there should be no PC or TV, no smartphone or tablet or any device that resembles them, in the bedrooms; that only one device should work at a time, in a common and visible place in the home; that there should be clearly established times and moments for its use, etc. It is inappropriate to have the TV on when sharing the family table or other moments of communion in the home, such as celebrations, visits, etc.
Sobriety and detachment demand living well, with what is necessary for human subsistence, and for this we must avoid waste, unnecessary expenses and ostentation. Even more so when in our consumerist world there are many families that do not have even the minimum to live with dignity.
Austerity, which does not mean misery, makes us supportive and generous with those who have less.
Colophon
We have spoken of moderation, temperance and austerity, which in the context discussed - marriage and family - come to mean the same thing. And you can see that this is something worth focusing on.
A conjugal and family life is worthwhile, centered on a calm and hopeful vision of things, on serenity of spirit, on an inner and outer balance and on generous detachment in the face of what is pleasant and desirable.
In a family it is verified and reaches the due proportion when it is constituted by emotionally balanced members, free and masters of their inner impulses, not being at the mercy of whims or sudden changes.
