Moving in together. And then?

There are many couples who, before entering into a marriage, move in together. A decision, in many occasions, that has not been really matured and that contributes less than it seems to the stability of a couple.

José María Contreras-May 4, 2022-Reading time: 2 minutes
living together

Translation of the article into English

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There are people who, despite not having things very clear, go to live with another person, exposing themselves to a great failure and disregarding all advice related to the matter.

Often, human beings have already made up their minds before they start thinking. And this is one of the reasons why the experience of others, in these cases, is worth very little.

Other times it is for not knowing what is really done, the reasons are superficial: "everybody does it", "let's see", "we don't want to fail"....

There is a lack of training and manipulation by the weak culture that surrounds us, misuse of freedom. Underlying all this is the belief that, although others, in general, are doing badly, they will do well... In short, it is all very weak, very superficial, very adolescent.

I would like to dwell on what comes after the "moving in together" because, in most cases, there is a thena "we no longer live together".

Generally the situation is painful. Much worse than if you had left a relationship. Living with a person and then leaving him/her is an experience that marks. It leaves a mark forever, because you have been left forever.

Disillusionment, suffering, the dryness of failure, disenchantment, the feeling of having been rejected as a person. If one has been left, one has the feeling of "not having satisfied" what the other wanted to prove, the feeling of not being worth, of not having been loved, of having played with the deepest feelings, all this together leaves an indelible mark on the human heart.

There are times when self-esteem ends up on the floor, you think you are not worthy of being loved. The ballast is very strong.

Doing life? With whom? Somehow life has broken down. The illusion of a clean, demanding love is gone.

It is likely that the demand when searching will decline, there are situations in which it is enough that someone pays attention to establish a new relationship.

In reality, what we are looking for is perhaps some illusion, to get out of that hopelessness.

Perhaps it starts with a person who has also been left. The value of commitment has declined and the union of two people without that sense is a weak union, at the first setback everything breaks. On the other hand, the biological clock is ticking. Which leads to act with a certain haste.

It is not a question of despairing anyone. In the field of happiness you can always start by asking for forgiveness, to whom it is due and how it is due.

For believers, going to confession, asking for forgiveness and starting from scratch, with the illusion of knowing that they have been forgiven, is a wonderful remedy, also in the human and psychological sense.

Living in accordance with certain beliefs helps a lot.

If this is not the case, we will probably let ourselves be carried away more than necessary by the mood, and this is a very weak grip that is also not controllable.

Flat lives, without beliefs, are not complete, something is missing.

That is why, before making a decision, you should always look at the state you would be in if you were to fail.

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