Testo originale del articolo in inglese qui
Traduzione: Lino Bertuzzi
Fin da piccoli, nelle storie da bambini ci hanno raccontato di coppie che si amano molto e senza difficoltà, dove tutto è meraviglioso e senza che nella loro vita ci siano problemi di alcun tipo.
Later, the romantic cinema has taught us the same thing.
Even today, it is said that out there, somewhere, there is someone with whom you can live peacefully and happily. Someone with whom love doesn't cost you anything.
This is extremely attractive, but absolutely false. We must be aware that, even if we could meet all the men or all the women in the world, living with any of them would be difficult and would require a certain effort.
A couple is formed by two imperfect people, so the result will be an imperfect relationship. Do not expect it, in all marriages there are some things that go well and others that do not. It is normal.
Knowing how to talk at the right time is not easy.
To dominate arrogance, pride, to avoid always wanting to prevail, this is one of the drugs that makes you suffer the most, to want to dominate others, not to leave them space, to ask them to do things as you do them, to keep what you do, what you say, the cell phone, the post, are frequent attacks that show immaturity in the person and in love.
Because the relationship of partnership is a relationship between equals, if one does not dominate its own ego, it will always try to prevail over the other.
He or she will always want to be right. Command.
Insomma, the person with whom we are married has had the mistakes, and he cannot avoid them because he has the original sin. All of us have the sins.
The success of a relationship is now given by an effort, by that struggle against oneself that man and woman intend to do to improve themselves personally.
This means that we must have a constant predisposition to want to improve as people, to be consistent with our convictions, and not to be afraid if our relationship is not perfect.
A person who really knows how to love is the one who struggles to know herself, who has no fear of personal truth. To fear the truth about oneself is a suicidal attack and makes us lose the capacity to love.
Today there is a great fear to commit oneself, to love, because it is intuited that every love surely involves, in greater or lesser measure, a certain sacrifice.
Chi non voglia avere dei dolori trascorra tutta la sua vita libera da ogni amore, dice la canzone popolare. Ecco come stanno le cose.
This is the reason why many people in our society go through their lives without knowing what love is, with a sadness in the background and an irrequietness that from time to time they compensate with a little bit of wisdom. The one that gives the illusion of being loved. It is not possible to live always in sadness!
Many go with their heart in their hands, offering it to someone who compensates their desire, often caused by the fear that one has or has the desire to love someone else. They are looking for an ideal partner that does not exist, because our ideal spouse is the one we are married to.
To realize this fact we must put our relationship at the first place in our life priorities, and lose the patience of the effort, of the sacrifice that love requires. The rest is not knowing how to love.
La comodità non si si concilia con l'amore.
In the measure in which we do not allow ourselves to be won over, tell the truth and confront ourselves with ourselves, we will realize that this effort costs less than what our imagination suggests.
Ebbene si si, abbiamo trovato il partner ideale perché abbiamo abbiamo iniziato ad amare davvero. Other are only sadness, if it is not supported by a strong and robust love. It is so easy and so difficult.