Sisters of LifeThe pregnant woman who does not want to be a mother is already a mother".Can we overcome social polarization on the issue of abortion?Abortion and jurisprudence in the United StatesWhen talking about abortion, it makes sense to shine the spotlight over women. They are the main affected ones, but there are many other victims.
Truth be told, abortion affects men. We don’t talk about it enough, but we just can’t forget that the human life being eliminated during an abortion has a mother and a father. That’s why there’s a ministry of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, called "By Your Side LA"where they help women, men, family and friends who are suffering after an abortion.
Omnes has talked to the Director of this ministry, Jeanette Seneviratne, who has told us about men and their experience.
How does abortion affect men?
–Men experience a potential mental health effect of personal and relational injury after an abortion. Many studies have shown that in the aftermath of abortion, particularly where the feelings around the decision to abort are ambivalent, men often feel depressed and when they have not been consulted about the decision, they often feel angry about being legally disenfranchised.
It affects men personally, spiritually, and emotionally; the whole person and perspective in life from the trauma whether direct or indirect involvement in the abortion. We also understand from a faith perspective, that the relationship between man and God can be severed due to the feelings of guilt, shame, and the trauma. This is why healing and understanding of God’s mercy is part of our By Your Side LA accompaniment journey by the Merciful Companions.
Is the grieving process different for men and women?
–Men and women both go through their individual grieving process, but we understand that many of the same emotions, guilt, anger and shame can be commonly experienced by both because it is a disenfranchised grief.
What is the job of the Merciful Companions?
–Merciful Companions are trained active listeners who help those affected by abortion tell their stories by providing support so they can begin their healing journey.
How do you help men affected by abortion?
–By Your Side LA Ministry offers a website, a call center, trained lay Merciful Companions to walk with those in need as they heal, and referrals to mental health professionals, retreats, support groups, spiritual healing, and other resources.
Abortion is a topic strongly connected to women. How can we help men understand that it is important for them to also seek help and guidance?
–We can help men understand that it is important for them to seek help and guidance by letting them know that abortion affects everyone in the family and how healing restores community and brings joy. We also have male Merciful Companions that can draw from their own experience of loss that can provide guidance and hope.
We can provide a compassionate approach of accompaniment and say,” Sharing your experience with abortion may feel daunting. Maybe you have never told anyone about it before. You might feel guilty. You might feel sad. You might feel angry. Whatever you are feeling is perfectly normal, but it is not what you want to keep feeling forever. You can heal. You can get help. You are not alone. There are people you can talk to — people you can trust. You might not know what to say or how to start the conversation. Let us help you begin. It’s easy to connect with us to support you”.
How can a man grow in his faith while healing from an abortion?
–A man’s faith and relationship to God can be restored by journeying to understand the impact of finding a new place of forgiveness and peace. A man does not have to remain permanently stuck in the emotional distress that his abortion experience may have left him in. There is a process for redemption and restoration that a father involved in an abortion can move into and find hope, healing, and wholeness.
